Knowing that you love someone reminds you to stick it out. Sometimes, it's difficult to find a reason to come back when you left. Whatever the case may be, come back, talk it out. In your case, listen, take it in, and reason it out. You can say your peace, but at the appropriate time (whenever that may be), then get over it.
Get over it. Leave it in the past, as best as you can, but leave it where it lay!
That goes for both parties
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
small issues vs. the BIG CONFLICTS
In relationships, particularly marriage, there are many times, we as men, just don't want to argue...discuss...frankly talk. But, we need to. Learning the little that I have, I've learned that it's better to deal with the small problems...while they're small. Instead of waiting until they've become big problems to her because she's tried to discuss them or hint at you about talking. We as man, have to learn that a lil' bit goes a long way.
In our house, we call it checking in. We have to check in with each other because I don't know where she is in her mind. A woman's mind is unexplainable. Her thought could range from why she feels the way she feels, to why she can't seem to lose weight, to why the kids lunches were fixed by 7am. You just don't know! This I can say is that it let's her know that you she's important to you. She didn't have to ask you to listen, you wanted to and for that she's more open to you.
She might not just come out and say exactly what's on her mind, but you gotta' know your woman. Some women, like to dance around the situations, you just have to dance with them so that they know you're serious about checking in. So do it at least once a day, take time for her and she'll respond to you as well.
In our house, we call it checking in. We have to check in with each other because I don't know where she is in her mind. A woman's mind is unexplainable. Her thought could range from why she feels the way she feels, to why she can't seem to lose weight, to why the kids lunches were fixed by 7am. You just don't know! This I can say is that it let's her know that you she's important to you. She didn't have to ask you to listen, you wanted to and for that she's more open to you.
She might not just come out and say exactly what's on her mind, but you gotta' know your woman. Some women, like to dance around the situations, you just have to dance with them so that they know you're serious about checking in. So do it at least once a day, take time for her and she'll respond to you as well.
The Corner
One of the ups about being married to your best friend is that she's there. IF she's a good woman, she's there. IF she's not there, she's still a good woman who hasn't gotten there yet. It's something about having that person in your corner that gives you a charge to get you up and face whatever you are facing.
In my short time of marriage, a lot of times we could spend more time battling with each other than against the world. In some cases, this may prove to be more true than not. But, we have to stop, and get to the point to where we understand that we shouldn't be fighting against each other. Those lil' disagreements where you have to be right, or she has to be wrong, has a major negative effect on the relationship.
Learning to work together, in my opinion isn't always difficult, but learning how to operate as one, not there is a difficulty. Whenever you take 2 things and make them one, its a process. So don't forget, and I'm reminding myself too, that it's a lifetime commitment and the journey is rewarding....even in the corner.
In my short time of marriage, a lot of times we could spend more time battling with each other than against the world. In some cases, this may prove to be more true than not. But, we have to stop, and get to the point to where we understand that we shouldn't be fighting against each other. Those lil' disagreements where you have to be right, or she has to be wrong, has a major negative effect on the relationship.
Learning to work together, in my opinion isn't always difficult, but learning how to operate as one, not there is a difficulty. Whenever you take 2 things and make them one, its a process. So don't forget, and I'm reminding myself too, that it's a lifetime commitment and the journey is rewarding....even in the corner.
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