when you don't know

Conversations can be long and drawn out. For some of us, the difficulty in keeping interest is an issue, for others it's trying not to look that way can be even harder. There's typically a time when she will hit you with a "what do you think". Here's a small tip...when you don't know what to say....don't say anything. If you can't really explain it or she wants an explanation...tell her you don't know what to say. This might take things in an entirely different section of the world, but, it's the truth. You might wanna follow up with why you don't know what to say. I add an "I don't know because there's just a lot going through my mind". In many cases, the more you talk, the more you confuse yourself. Remember, she's thought about it (sometimes more than you could think) and she's processed it. You don't always get that luxury. Also, she's not always speaking a language that we understand (I'll get into this later). So just put it out there. Come back to the conversation when you figure things out. By then, she's thought about it, but not as much. Once she's gotten her point across, she's goes into wondering about you. Some women don't go as far as that. But remember, when you don't know what to say, don't say anything or tell her exactly that!

home is where you're nekkid

One of the best things about coming home is that it's a place where you can be "nekkid". In a sense physically, but more so as a person. The one thing about being "nekkid" is that it's who the realest version of you.

At home, when you're married, there's one person that you can be completely honest or "nekkid" with. My wife and I are best friends, but sometimes it's hard to be "nekkid" with her. Until we as men, understand that she's not there to judge or critical, we can become closer friends. Our wives want that, they want the parts of us that we've been reluctant to share with anyone else. They actually need it!

The closer a man is to his wife, the more she trusts and respects him. Those are two key things that we need. Why? Because if a woman can't trust you, then she will do her best to treat you like it. Even if there's a slight change in the trust, she will let you know! Nobody wants to live like that!

We also need respect! I believe that men who feel that their woman doesn't respect him hits her because he doesn't know of any other way to get respect quicker. That's not how things should be, but it's..in most cases of physical abuse....how they start.

Thus I say all that, to say this: Take care of Home! It's your sanctuary, not your battleground! Learn how to keep the peace and how to get it as well!

Her & her moods

In so many words or less...women are moody! The reason they are moody is because...that's just the way that they were wired. If I honestly knew the answer, I would tell everyone, but I only have a hypothesis. The reason that they are so moody is because of how they think. The world that's going on in her head, in some form or another, is a reflection of what's going on outside her head....not the case. We, as men, know that, but they don't. Their perception of what's going on is based on their thoughts.

I've noticed that my wife, has a moody day every 3-4 days. I've noticed it, written it down, monitored it, recorded it, analyzed it, hypothesized, everything. In short, just to keep it simple...every 3-4 days I can expect her to be in a mood and I not know why. It's life, women are just moody. I know I get what I expect, but I'm thinking that the moodiness may be a some law that can't be reversed. I could be wrong about the law, but as far as the moodiness...I don't think so.

In conclusion, all women are not created equal, but the problems and issues are! With a small exception of a few issues, typically, most married men have had some of the same or similar issues. Don't believe me, ask around!

being sorry

Guys, no matter what you do. You will say you're sorry way more than a woman. I find that a lot of the time, we do mess up. The mess up comes from misunderstanding her. Sometime, we get mixed signals and when we think we understand....we don't. We don't know until we've done something wrong. It's almost like thinking you're doing good, when all in all, you're efforts are good, but your actions are crap! It happens to us all. Even if you're doing "good" in your eyes don't expect a pat on the back. It's not very likely to happen.

Another reason why you say "I'm sorry" more is because there are things that really don't matter...in your opinion. But to her, it makes her sleep better at night, knowing that she wasn't wrong. You will say "I'm sorry" to do her a favor and do you one. Saying it will also allow for there to be some peace. Once she believes that she's right, nothing else matters. The argument, conversation, discussion, is over. She may talk for a little while longer, but you don't have to say much. In fact, some people go into auto-pilot and just nod and not listen. To sum it up, it can keep the peace.

A major reason we say "I'm sorry" more than they do, is because you're always wrong. Even when you're right...your wrong. IF you don't believe me ask your father. Anyone who is married to a woman....you're wrong. I would also put Chris Rock down as a reference. Any stand up talking about marriage...he's spittin' the truth!

And thus..."I'm sorry" a common phrase, but women eventually get tired of the "I'm sorry"s I believe it's because they don't say it enough....even when they do...how quickly they forget! So make sure you throw in a: "I apologize, I was wrong" or a "You're right!" or a "I misjudged, I made a mistake". These are good too. Mix 'em up though.

some phrases recomended by yahoo

I saw this on yahoo and thought, maybe I would try some of these phrases to help me & the misses better communicate when attitudes show up:

Please try to understand my point of view-I've never used this one

Wait, can I take that back?-I've never used this one, but it sounds good

You don’t have to solve this—it helps me just to talk to you.-this one is something that needs to be said.

This is important to me. Please listen.-Heard this one before

I overreacted, I’m sorry.-One I should probably say

I see you’re in a tough position.-I've never used this one

I can see my part in this.-I've never used this one, it's typically not her fault

I hadn’t thought of it that way before.-I've used this one, it works pretty good. Especially when you really mean it!

I could be wrong.-I say this one often

Let’s agree to disagree on that.-haven't tried this one

This isn’t just your problem, it’s our problem.-This might earn major brownie points!

I’m feeling unappreciated.-I've never used this one

We’re getting off the subject.-I've never used this one

You’ve convinced me.-or this one

Please keep talking to me.-a favorite of mine

I realize it's not your fault.-this one goes without saying

That came out all wrong.-yeah, used that one...it helps

I see how I contributed to the problem.-another one that goes without saying

What are we really fighting about?-this one helps the most. If you're not sure, ask. If you get lost, ask. She might be mad, but hit her with a "I'm just trying to make sure I stay on the same page so I can better understand what you are saying"

How can I make things better? I've heard it, said it, and still it's a toss up!

I’m sorry.- Now, this one deserves it's on blog.....

I love you.-She's glad you love her, but if you don't understand her, your love is like an empty toilet bowl! If you don't understand the sh*t she's saying, then it really doesn't matter! No pun intended....

take one add one

Here's a little something that everyone should know about. I call it, taking a minute. In stores you see a little dish with pennies or loose change in it. The words "take a penny, add a penny" are written on the top of it. It applies here, it's actually pretty easy. If you need a minute, take it. By doing so, you're giving the other person a minute. A gift that keeps on giving!

These are simply "take as needed" breaks. A good time to do so is anytime you need to switch gears or you just want some peace & quiet. It helps a lot. Try it sometime.

Also, taking a minute can be as long as you need it. But DO NOT ABUSE it. It will de-value fast if you take a minute for an hour. A minute is less than 20 minutes. Just a period of time, not to exceed the irritability point of the other person. If that time is shorter than 10 minutes, take a minute twice!

Nonetheless, it's important to take it when you need it....

And I digress