The life of a man is already confusing as it is, but I believe there are a few things that we as men could do to lighten our load. But when it comes to her, we must look beyond ourselves and make her the focus of what we have going on. Aside from God and Jesus, she has to be the most important person right before you. If she isn’t, she’s not happy. A simple equation that I’ve learned in the short years that I’ve been married: Happy Wife=Happy life. “If she ain’t happy, then you ain’t happy” that’s a little something I picked up from the south! Anyhow, I’m writing to inform you how to better improve upon things in the home!
There are FOUR things that are key for women: Security, Affection, Communication, and Comfort.
Let’s begin with Security. For some, this is the tricky one here. A woman has to feel secure in the relationship. Meaning, that if your 1 bedroom apartment is on fire, you have already gotten a plan in place so that she will know what to do. It won’t matter if she’s standing by the backdoor screaming and your apartment is on the 1st floor. The point of it all is that you have things under control! Now, the adverse of that is if she doesn’t feel secure and she stays with you, then she’ll take the roll of the head. Two things your woman doesn’t want to be….a MAID or your MAMA! What happens in those situations is that she assumes the role of the head and she loses all respect for you. Then she will assume that you’ve lost respect for her because she has to do your job as the head and her job too. Women hate that! They hate it so much that when it happens, you can never get into the “head of the household” position. She won’t give it up because she’s been doing it so long and she will feel that you will mess it up so she’s not going to give it up without a fight. After all the smoke clears from that situation you’re left with a broken home, a broken heart, and a broken wallet. I’ve seen it, it’s never pretty and it doesn’t turn out good! So take note fellows, it will be worth your time. Do what she asks, even if you don’t want to. She’ll respect you more for that, she’ll feel more like a woman, and she will treat you like a man.
Another big point is Affection. This is something that I had to learn the hard way. I’ll start out by telling you what it isn’t. It isn’t the actions that you perform right before you have the great new marriage love making session. It’s not that kiss on the cheek on your way in or out to do the things that you want to do. It’s not even when she’s sad and she just needs an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. It’s not any of those. Although they are somewhat close, yet so far, those aren’t it. Affection is when you take 5 or 10 minutes to stop what you’re doing to see about them. It’s not just about a physical touch, it’s what I like to call “checking in”. It’s asking her what you can do to make her feel more loved. Women, they need this….bad! It’s something you can’t avoid, even if you have the rough rugged woman who chews tobacco and spits further than you…she needs it too! Affection can be given in small doses. I like to spoon my lady during movies, hold her when we’re listening to music and from time to time I give her a lil’ sugar to let her know that appreciate her lovin’ me! Giving her this type of attention keeps her from questioning if you love her or not. It also reminds her that she is special and that she made the right choice by committing to you. One thing you might not know is that you might not of been her first choice! Something to keep in mind!
Now with communication, I can’t stress the importance of it. Women are atleast twice as talkative as men are. In fact, we talk more to ourselves and less to our spouse, but that has to change. When you get married, your best friend is no longer anyone outside of your wife. This is another topic for another blog, but I’ll get to it later. The marriage symbolized a joining of two people together. Think about communication like this: What if the brain didn’t communicate with the heart? The brain sends signals to the heart to pump blood to keep you alive! Communication is just that powerful! You lose that, and the marriage will not survive! Enough said!
To wrap all that up, a woman needs more than just these major subjects, but these are the staples in the marriage that needs to be established early on in the journey. The effective combination of security, affection, and communication bring about a sense of COMFORT to her. That’s something that you can’t put a price on. That’s what a woman needs from you to feel like a treasure. IF she feels valued and important she will represent you with pride and love. You want your woman to feel like the luckiest woman in the world. You don’t need anyone making your woman more special than you do unless it’s Jesus! So that’s just a lesson, a simple recipe per se, that will keep the marriage from feeling like an obligation instead of a once in a lifetime opportunity. I'm not saying this is all they need, I'm saying this is an excellent foundation!
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